Friday, September 29, 2006
one night, a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies.the boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night.the girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk.she told him that her feelings changed & that it was time to move on.a silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached down his pocket & passed her a folded note.at that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very street.he swerved right at the driver's seat, killing the boy.miraculously, the girl survived.remembering the note, she pulled it out and read it."WITHOUT YOUR LOVE, I WOULD DIE."i thought this cutest love note i've ever read would benefit all, so i posted it here. (:yeah, don't need to thank me! hehehee.i think my heart is taken away.by someone who's special to me.but i don't know about him !how does he feel?gosh, i like him!oh my god.=0
yellow ! :Dbeen having a gweat time these days.looking forward for his entertainment everyday!hehehe.. =xbeen writing in my disco! diary at home alot these days.its been gweat, cos when i felt frustrated, i practically coloured the whole page with my pencil.hmm..don't know what more to write here, cos there's so much to say.too much!but im feeling quite happy now.and preoccupied.hahaha .. :Dnow on the fone with ashraf.belo uh!maybe on saturday, going to Kampong Glam with my cousins.gonnnnnnnnna be crazaye.<33>
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
"i lost it all when i said goodbye to you,
but deep down i knew it was something i had to do.
it's true that im still in love with you,
but what else could i do after all the stress i went through?
everyone hated that we were together,
but somehow i felt it would last forever.
they played with my last nerve,
and that was something i didn't deserve.
you said that there was nothing that you could do,
so goodbye was all that i could say to you.
it was not something that i wanted to do,
because i honestly meant it when i said that i loved you."
time flies by so fast, i didn't really made use of it fully.
sometimes when i sit beside my bed, i think of what better things i could do if i hadn't met you.
i figured out that there was alot of things i could rather do.
its just that i didn't noticed.
but i guess now, i'm much more matured in my thinking & im now trying like hell to concentrate on my streaming and at least make my parents happy.
they mean the world to me :D
plus my friends, too.
i was always lonely, until they came.
i can never live, without them.
and so whatever that makes them happy, makes me happy too.
yes, including You too.
You're happy now, i can tell, and i'm happy that you're happy.
and finally found someone You could be serious with.
i hope You won't play around with any other people's feelings ey?
i miss You (sighs) ..
when can i ever share those happy hours together with You again?
impossible, i know.
but that's what i've been dying for all this while.
to be with You, to let You make me happy like You used too.
all this may have been a wild fairytale altogether, but i'd really like that.
hmm.. i don't know when i'm gonna stop blabbing about this stupid stuff.
but it seems like everyday, different stuffs would attack my mind.
and i'll have to write about it again.
how miserable could life get?
with my dear diary by my side everytime, i guess it's so much easier to let you fade away from my mind.
hmm.. HADAAAAAAY !
he won, yeaaahness.
hahaha, he's so cute lerh.
and Taufik's getting charming day by day.
woohooozz! x DD
hope to study more these few days!
exams on the 2nd.
cheer myself up & get ready to study.
good luck, Dian.
Monday, September 25, 2006
"and you probably don't wanna hear tomorrow's another day.but i promise you, you'll see the sun again.and you're asking me why pain is the only way to happiness.and i promise you, you'll see the sun again."
Friday, September 22, 2006
selamat (advanced) berpuasa semua! (xkekeke. hari rayer's coming soon, can't wait for the day when all cousins meet.KL + SINGAPORE + JOHOR = MADNESS !nyehehee.. can't wait, can't wait!but although i'm smiling away at home, my heart's still burning.still burning with love, the day he started to say I LOVE YOU.is the day it started burning with emotions.but now, you stopped.how could you?i don't expect it to last really, but how fast could it end?omfg, everytime i post something, he HAS to be part of it.why can't i just post about something, not including him inside?i know, i've experienced the pain so many times.but i still don't get it!when will i stop trusting guys?even if i have friends by my side when i'm down, he's the one i really hope to comfort me with those sweet words.well, at least one more time & that'd be it.i'm effing stressed thinking about all this nonsense, living my life day by day, knowing it's impossible to happen again.why, am i praying so hard to get you on the phone with me for f*cking hours again?what was the mistake i've done that made you change your mind?why do you have to keep your answer within you for so long, & let me suffer here, far away from you, thinking that you'd still call me one day.kept on convincing myself that you'll come back to me is just so stupid.for once, i wish that every guy i know will get off my back for once.please!i'm tired of life & its sweet meaning.i'm sick of you & your lies.just get lost, everyone!i don't need a guy, come on.i just need someone to stand by me.& who'd always be there for me when i'm in need.that way, my heart won't be broken easily, just because there's always someone who'd heal it immediately.and with this i'd like to give my heartful thanks to Nurul & Nazirah ..- for being there for me in the meantime. :D& making me realise that i don't need you.i just don't.
you were the one who said you'd be there with me in ups & downs of life.you were the one who told me that you'd be there to love me, when somebody else stopped.you were the one who promised me, that you'd wipe away the tears i shed in the past.but you were the same person who lied to me .. when you said that i'm everything to you.you lied when you said that you cared.today was a sucker for me, except that its doubled the suckkkk!have to pay attention in class (in case).today, studied about habitats & community thingy in science.i was like arranging myself in a position, ready & set to sleep against this wall.but then, abby was shouted when she was in her dreamland.so i decided to keep myself awake for the rest of the lesson.but my mind wasn't on the lesson, or the slideshow!i was thinking, why am i so nice?why am i so soft-hearted to stupid people? i'm nice, while you're dishonest.i can only manage to be patient & pray hard that everything will be fine like before.but something's can't be healed... or maybe it can, but it'd take such a long time to do it.i'm confused with what i'm feeling now.during science class, i tried to sort out my feelings, but couldn't.how is he feeling about me right now?the last tyme, he told me he liked me.and the last tyme, i told him i liked him.but now, it's as if we were very good friends.and nothing happened between us.i need the answer as soon as possible.as mama said, it takes two hands to clap!in this case, i desperately need his to let me know the answer.i really don't wish for my life to be as complicating as this.but mama told me to be patient, papa told me to be kind.they said, i'd be a better a person by then.so let's see how it turns out when i update next tyme.i bet by then, i'd get bad news & bad luck would strike me again.watch out for me!i can't believe i still can joke about this.but worst, i can't believe he turned out like this.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
hello. x DDD i dont really know what to say here.i'm so f*cked up right now!i don't know what to do next.first, i had a f*ucked-up time with the Principal in his office.nearly got expelled, like wth.i was thinking which school i wanted to go to next.would any others accept me?what i need now, is a second chance from them, from the school.& Mrs Yap saved my shitty ass.luckily i can still stay in the school sia.i love Mrs Yap Lee Ching.she saved our lives!& another thing happened, which broke my heart so, so much.but nevermind, i understand.studies come ferst right? yea, me too.den let us go ahead uh? right.i wanna kill myself now.i wanna die.please someone, grab that knife & rob me of my life.please!i like you okay, don't ever let that feeling go away.so life's really no meaning at all, yeah?and i'd rather die than to face all this.there's too much of sufferings at such a young age erh.i'll wait for you, for the right time.i'll just wait & wait .. i know that you'll come back to me once you're done with your stuffs.you won't get far away from me.i know it.i just know it.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Muhammad Hafiz Bin Abdul Rahim.that's the guy i finally found who could be compared to Him.cheers to you.pssst. : i love you. whether you wanna know or not.i really do.
Friday, September 15, 2006
i'm back people, feeling gweat :Dhmm, the last three days, i was having so much fun & it kept me occupied!& finally i accidentally became busy for three days.on wednesday, met nazirah at marsiling & we walked a long way to causeway point, damn.had our neoprints taken & they were like, wow :Di loike! nyehehee. (xden we walked around & saw this adorable shorts at Ice Lemon Tee.available in 3 colours - white, brown & black.she suggested that she wanted the black one, and she asked me to buy the brown one & nazra the white one.you see, nazra's become another new friend of mine, one of my lucky strangers whom i get close to suddenly.havent really talked to her yet, but i'm gonna do that when we go to Bugis on the 29th.buying some prezzies for An's birthday.gonna be a blast going out with them :Don thursday, i had detention, cos on wednesday i woke up at 7 :(den went off at 7.15 & took a taxi to school.but guess what, my wallet was at home!so i asked the taxi driver to U-TURN & wait downstairs while i go up & take my wallet.despite asking the driver to drive a little bit faster, i reached school at 7.32 & the prefect went .. "here's your late form".. like gosh!& the taxi fare was $9+, f*ck the extra $2 for i-dont-even-know-what.but i postponed my detention to thursday.& had a boring tyme!den headed straight home after that.and went online. & everyone kept on asking, where did you go just now?and i was like, erm detention?nyahahaa. stoopid sia! (xat night i chatted with this guy, Hafiz aka Hapeez.he's nice & sweet & funny too, after hours of chatting with him.i've been sms-ing him since thurdsday night till now.he accompanied me through school on thursday :Dyesterday, we talked on de fone for about 4 hours+, cos i cant sms anymore!my message counter reached 970 owedy.nyahaha. so too bad..can't sms anymore until next week, on the 22nd.kay, today supposed to go to my aunt's house to see my newborn niece again.but couldn't anyway, cos the baby's at the hospital.so we're going to see her tmrw den.gonna have a blast there! :Dtill then, everyone, take care!and i love you.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
woah-oh-ohhhh! (:just now had home econ test after school.it was okay for me, cos i studied.and history test is postponed till next tuesday!yay! hahaha, wth, as expected lah!Mr Marican always doesnt get his test dates right.hmm, after home econs test, me, Natazsha, Nurul & Abby went to j8.Celeste had counselling, kekeke.and so we went to j8 & BOUGHT things.bought (yeah right) ..den went to BBT and ate Magee.at first Abby went off.den after eating, the three of us went to the salon.to get my hair trimmed.yeah, got my hair trimmed & paid $8, den went home after that.cos i'm having my tuition at 7.30 ..kay let's see, den came home & had a straight fight with my brother.he didn't wanna open the door!so i opened and asked him to close, but he refused!.. so i left the door plus the gate unlocked, and waited for him to make his right move.but he didn't! it makes my blood boil higher! ergh!we fought over the unclosed gate & pushed each other's shoulder like hell.and den! we fought by werds! wheee.. as expected =.=he said, YOUR ATTITUDE'S LIKE SHIT! and i said, YOURS IS WORSER! JUST CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR, I'VE OPENED IT. AND STOP SHOUTING AT ME!and he said, WHY SHOULD I? YOU F*UCKER!i said, EY F*CKER, ITS SO BLOODY SHAMEFUL THAT A GUY IS SHOUTING AT A GIRL! YOU THINK YOU BIGGER DEN ME, I SCARED UH! COME AR!he said nothing.god, it was suffering man!den in de end, i closed after like one hour left unlocked.den i shouted, YOU ARSEHOLE, SO OLD YET SO CHILDISH! CHIB*I!it feels so nice to scream.what you feel.
Monday, September 11, 2006
oh my God.today's a tiring day.reached school at 9.01 with the normal people, we were just one minute late!and guess what, we had to go through detention for one hour after school.gosh, that's very bad.who knew that 1 minute = 1 hour?but whatever it is, had a boring time during detention.just took out my MP3 and started listening to Me & You by Cassie and Hurt by Christina Aguilera, over & over again!the song's so emo lah.
hmm.. just now chapel was funny.shall not write about it anyway! -.-Cikgu Fadza was absent today, so right after PE, we headed to Natazsha's house & played cards.wheee, so fun erhz.. (:den at 2.30, we went back to school and ate our lunch there with Abby plus Celeste.den had a whooping hard tyme to finish up our food cos, the wind that comes together with the heavy rain had our hair flying around mad!but finally i got up first to put back the plate (:den headed for the hall to have detention & bla blahhh.after detention, went to Popular & they took things (omg, even stickers!)den i went back home & finally got to on the computer after 3 days without it!so much to update on, yeah?and yup, my newborn (still red) niece is so f*ucking cute!her name's Noemie Tiara.and she's such a beau. :Di kissed her on the cheeks and went shopping at Orchard with Bee.wanted to buy a $55 shirt, (at first she let) then she said no, cos she realised it was too plain and not worth wasting $55 on that.but i still want it!! haha.den had our dinner at Lau Pa Sat, until our stomachs were full and reached home at 12.30 ..yummy, just on time for Bee to watch a football match.den i tried to sleep, but couldn't.went in at 10pm to try to sleep, but ended up sleeping at 1+ instead.cos sms-ed with Iqbal, wad a dumb thing to do.and yeah, zie's right, i shouldn't care about him anymore.it's obvious he wants something else.just something else.grrr.. (8i'm having pwoblems signing in to MSN.will someone help me out?oh shit.x PS : I'm Still Not Over You x
Friday, September 08, 2006
bla bla blaaa. (xyesterday was madness! haha, went to Causeway, wanting to hang out with Aqilah they all.but they were still at Bishan, havent even boarded the train yet!so i decided to meet Syahida under her block.it was a tiring destination for me, cos i got lost! =xkekeke, i took the bus until it brought me to Republic Poly.wooohoo. wth?den i walked two bus stops back.and brought my favourite drink & waited for Syahida.den she brought me to her place there & we had a great talk.she's become a good friend of mine, now.thanks for accompanying me! :Dden, wanted to meet Hairil, but he wanna play soccer.asked me to follow along at first, but i didn't want to.cos by den i'll be alone, watching him play soccer.like in the 70s, oldies style.hahaha, and so we didn't met up yesterday ler..den went back to Bishan & met Nurul at 4.35.had my late lunch, and she just ate my mash potato and did the talking.den we laughed our way to the neoprint shop, and had our madness.i was brought to the new library, and guess what, it wasn't quiet, it was noisy!haha. Bishan per.. kekeke.den she bought her Takopachi & den her ice-cream.and i saw this $30 leather bag, and it was like OMG so nice!i want it!and so at 7, i went to Woodlands again with mummy.told her about the bag, and she said no. :(kekekeke, as expected, mummy!hmm ..today in the morning, my mama dared me to eat the chilli.you know, the green, long type of chilli, the real one!den she said if i could finish it, she'd give me $30 to buy the bag... and so, i finished it.but i could still feel the hotness in my mouth now, but yeah it's easy money.hehehe. gonna buy that bag soon man!kay, later at 4 i'm going to the hospital visit my auntie.i have a newborn niece! wheee.gonna be cute, cos her dad's an ANG MOH.hahaha, den after the trip to the hospital, we're gonna do some shopping together with Bee.you see, Bee is my Brother. i call him Baby.kekeke, and he hates that, right Bee? =xso i'll blog again tmrw kay?&& i miss zie!!where'd you go?..x PS : I'm Still Not Over You . x
Thursday, September 07, 2006
i'm back, && i'll blog on the same day.again! =xhad a whoopie time with Nazirah just now! (:she's crazy & she's KECHIK.haha, small size sia, wth. we've had $30 to spent just now, so we tried to finish it all.took neoprints, but she brought home to scan.and so we could place it in our friendster (s).okay, with $20 left ..we ate at Macs. and we laughed & laughed like retards.cos while we were eating, one of the workers brought this very big bag of MILK back and forth twice.we laughed like there was no-one else in the Macs.kekeke. and plus, the manager was pregnant.wooopies! we're dirrrrty.den was fed-up with Iqbal, Galvin & Ashley.they were late by three f*ucking hours, who won't get angry?hmphff, den when they arrived, i gave Iqbal a doink face.the I'M NOT HAPPY face.and he said sorry, but i didn't give a damn.but yeah, after seeing him after so long, i finally admitted to myself that yeah, i kind of missed him. .. so much. he changed alot, oh && we had the same fone model!ohmy God! =xso cool, so coooool (:kay, overall i had a great tyme with them.and i think someone's telling me something i don't even wanna hear.but i think i know what's that.and please, stop that feeling from coming.i'm trying to forget Him, and the old Him's coming back.x PS. I'm Still Not Over You. x ( haiz, i wish i could though )
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
holla. :Djust woke up, now gonna take a bath.and meet up with Nazirah at Bishan.den head to Lot 1 and meet Iqbal, Galvin, Asyia & Ashley.dont know who they are, but today's gonna be "make-friends" day hah?kekeke. can't wait.now have to bath ! i smell. ..good :D
Happy Birthday Iqbal (:ey, loved ones!nyahaharz, i'm evil you know.supposed to go celebrate iqbal's birthday with galvin and the rest.but couldn't make it.actually not couldn't make it, but he's a sicko.but yup, whatever it is, he's still my ex.and if only i could be there to make him happy for just one day?i just didn't want him to fall in love with me again.cos it looks like he just did =/i don't wanna hurt guys, i know how it feels like!hmphff, but i think i did made him angry yesterday when i told him that i couldn't tag along.erhz, when will his hot-temperedness stop? it won't bring him anywhere lah.kay, den tmrw meeting nazirah!!wooohoo, after such a long tyme, finally (:tmrw's gonna be a so crazy day with her.she's the giler-giler type, i loike! =)cheybah! haha. den den den, yesterday our hearts were burning.and couldn't really "talked" on the fone.it was akward, but oh well.revenge is not the best way anyway, right?so we're gonna just let everything calm down, & make sure we won't lose contact anymore.kekekez, just now went down and met Shahir.he's okay, we talked.but nothing's really going on, he's so damn tall.our height difference was like _____ *so huge, can't even describe it! haha.den had to get back cos i'm scared my dad wanna come home, but he had no key with him.haha, anyway, it was okay lah taking a stroll with him & all.haiz. yesterday night was a great night fer me plus, an aching one too.i was relieved that he told me the truth.but the truth hurt me so much deep in my heart, gosh.not logical, but who cares.i couldn't do anything anymore.if i were to be given a chance to get back in time and fix things.i still wouldn't. it won't gonna change anything anymore.now living a single life is great too =0and Syahida, thanks fer cheering me up & entertaining me with music!gerek dok. nyeheherz.. (:haiz, now i can only manage to hope that things would be like before i met him.please?i really missed that life.bring it back to me.to me.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
today's the fifth.and tomorrow's gonna be a year after i met him.erhz, tyme travels oh so fast lah!experienced alot of things during this one year.being with him and him and him and him was wonderful, but i guess good things must have an end.if only.. sheesh, i can only manage to be patient now and let it all relax.let it all depend on fate, now, thats all.i just wanna be lonely now.lonely, until i can really find someone whu gives me enough love.as Zie said, find someone whu's clever at crying.uhhah. yea right, not all guys are like that.anyway, in the meantime, i'll just let the World revolve around me, nothing else... think i'll feel better that way lah.i've been preoccupied these two days of holidays, but starting from tmrw, my healthy lifestyle will be back!:D tmrw going out with iqbal & his friends (his birthday)hope Diana can come along too, missed her so.as friend only, i guess.yeah, just wanna make him happy on his birthday, thats all.what else should i write erh ..oh!ey, Boy, i still like you lah.i don't know why i still do, anyway i know it's stupid of me.but if the feeling's still where it's supposed to be a long tyme ago, den i can't place it elsewhere :(i don't know when i'll stop loving you, let's see how long my heart takes to carry this heavy burden.but what i know now is that, i still like you.but being ignored is blissful, don't you think so?all i want to do now is think about you, and i don't even wanna sleep (ergh).i just wanna keep on loving you.whether you like it or not.it's my choice, yeah.` x \\ ]__ ; shoot me with the right gun.
