Thursday, August 31, 2006
everything's over.i wish i could kill myself so that i won't have to think of all this.stupid stuffs.i shouldnt cry about stupid stuffs.i wouldn't anyway.it's amazing how fast time flies.and how stupid things happen.but when it's supposed to be that way, i wont stop it.don't know why i feel sad & down these few days, when i'm not the one to be regretful, but i guess i felt like i lost someone special but new in my life.for now, i wouldn't find someone else.because he's still in my heart now, and i think he won't be erased from it for a while.so i guess i'll be imagining him in my mind everynight, before i sleep.and whisper a silent prayer to God, to thank him for his love.Because baby,
Everything is fucked up straight from the heart,
tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart?
gotta pick myself up,
where do i start?
cos i cant turn to you when it all falls apart.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Berawal dari mata
Indahnya senyuman
Mengapa harus resah?
Biar cinta
bergelora di dada
Biar cinta
padukan kita
Cerita cinta
Yang pertama ku rasa
Jangan pernah
berakhir cerita cinta kita
Kini rindu
yang ku punya
HANYA UNTUKMU
hanya padamu ..
Monday, August 28, 2006
eeellloos.i was back at home at 4.wow, thats fast :Dokay, just now during PE we had to take our height & weight.i lost 3 *ucking kgs, which i dont know how it happened, and i still hadnt grow yet :(boohoo, when am i gonna reach 157cm?im still the same old 152cm-short Dian.yup, still her.okay, saturday was a great day! :Dhad so much fun with An.watched Ant Bully & he hid my $1-coin in the popcorn.i didnt finished it, den had to look for it slowly, stupid of him!hmphff, den went to marsiling cos he wanted to buy his Precious.den sat down under a block to wait fer him to finish his Precious.and .. he had another pack of Precious.hmphff! when will he stop his Precious-ing his Precious?den went to Bishan and he sent me home, reached home at 9 and had a goodnight's sleep (:hmm, woke up in the middle of the night when i was given a bad nightmare, gosh, how bad could it be?he cheered me up and we had one of the blissful days :(my mum's gonna confiscate my fone cos my bill have reached its peak!hehe, wasnt my fault, no.the free sms was too little to meet my daily needs ;)den yesterday didnt talked to An on the fone, cos he cant call me.and i cant call him, cos he has no free incoming call in the first place.and his prepaid was getting low :(so difficult to sleep, kept thinking of him.den finally called him up, and told him i loved him.after i was satisfied, i hung up and slept peacefully.haha! im finally meeting him this Thursday, thank God.okay people, now my hp's gonna relax at home from tmrw onwards.im only allowed to check my fone & reply any msgs at nite.so sad! but at least its not totally confiscated! =xkay, shall blog some other time, yeah? kinda feeling tired now, and having something on later at night.and so i felt sorry for my ex.he called me up and told me about his gerlfwen.and i had to give him advice, okay that wasnt easy.giving the one you loved once, an advice on love.hmm.. but come on, he's still my friend right?but he threw me a question that is impossible to answer.and so i didnt answer lah!i cant tell the future, come on.if its supposed to happen, all this, then let it happen!bring it on :Dtooddless!
Friday, August 25, 2006
hello sexy people!im back, backkkk baby.feeling so sad today.cant believe it happened.but yeah, i'll have to face it, life has its ups and downs.but sometimes, they go down so low, that it may lead to self-stupidity.you lose your mind and start thinking too much.im doing that exact thing now.hmm.. guess friends aren't gonna be forever in the end of the day.they come & go.some stay, but some refused to, which i cant do anything about.i cant believe she talked behind my back.acting like such an angelic goodie2 friend in my face, but behind, she's not so sweet as i thought she was.huh, you think its great to trick your 'friend' like that?its not cool okay.but whatever lah, i greatly appreciate your comments.i'll work on it, alrights? :(now i know who to share my secrets with, and who to not.phewww. i still cant *ucking believe it... just now was quite a tiring but still fun day!was wanting to go home straight away after sitting around at bubble tea shop.but realised that i left my key at home.so i called my friend and met up with her go lepak-ing at Sin Ming there.talked alot-lot with her. and she cheered me up (:thanks Aqilah! at least our guys know each other.hahaha. (x den i went back to Bishan to Natazsha's house by taxi.Natazsha's treat, yay! then we had madness at her house together with Celeste.and she left at 5.den it was left me & Natazsha.we talked to An on the fone.he laughed so cute, but too bad, he knew when i activated the loudspeaker.damn!haha. he's left for takraw now.wont be back until tmrw.he's sleeping at his friend's house.i wont be talking to him tonight, i will be missing him alot.but well, its okay, cos im meeting him tmrw! (:watching movie, i guess.den going to city hall to meet up with Aqilah & Danial.its gonna be fun hanging out with them, hell yeah.okay, gotttttta go!wanna read my LIME mag.bye bye, (:
Thursday, August 24, 2006
AN, SAYANG KU ((:
if love doesnt stay,
if love is like dust,
if love is blind,
if love tears your heart apart,
if love doesnt need IFs,
then love isnt everything.
wolah!
(: im back, people.
hahaha. hmm, these few days have been great :D
been enjoying my life with my friends, with my Diana and of cos, with my cute annnn!
whoo! (:
great. hmm..
today supposed to meet farhan after school, but he had a last-minute class test.
well so, i went home lah.
and enjoyed my day as well after going out with Nurul, Abby & Annabelle for awhile to Yoshi.
yum-yummy, it was great, as usual.
the food there is so .. you know what i mean.
haha! hmm..
im quite satisfied with my overall common tests results this time.
i passed all except Home Econs.
-.- stupid assy subject.
failed by 5 disappointing marks lah!
hmphff :(
i had borderline for science, wish to bring up my marks higher for streaming!
its less den 2 months away, i guess.
i have to pass!
i want that camera, mummy! =)
pretty please? haha.
and yeah, you cant just get anything you want easily.
you have to strive for it.
come on, you know you can do it, hell yeah.
i guess im feeling WOOPIE now.
that i have someone who really loves me for who i am.
cant wait to meet him again.
dia putih dok!.. haha.
but! when?
we'll see den.. (:
DIAN SAYANG FARHAN.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
syabas, Dian.kau kene bastard lagik.again & again & again.kau bodoh Dian.kenaper kau pergi percaye laki mcm ni?hmphff. Dian, kau slenger orang nyer.tak tahu nak bezakan yang maner betul dgn yang maner salah.bodoh... im dumb.so, so very dumb.whatever lah.im tired to post anything.just wanna say a little something to guys who wanna bastard/cheat girls who didnt do anything wrong to you, except that they just loved you the way you are since the first time she met you.think twice before you do that or she'll hate you.thats all i guess.
Friday, August 18, 2006
today sucked hard.meaning its so damn boring lah!the math test was a *ucker.the lessons were a pain.and the teachers are talking too far, too much.God, someone needs to give me break.hah, not that i had enough! :B.. i dont know, but i think tmrw's gonna be a good day.a gathering with my relatives & cousins, would be just what i need in a time like this.but even though my day was boring, im feeling oh so tralalaa* now =)okay just now i was so damn pissed with Friendster.it took me so much time to upload just 5 dammit pictures, until now, the problem isnt solved yet.okay whatever. (8hmphff, yesterday Mathilda was booted out.im happy that she finally got to go out, cos her voice was always fierce, just like Rahimah.but i was disappointed that Hady was in the bottom three :(hah, when is Joakim going to be voted out?and .. my mum said that she'll off the teevee if the two finalists were to be Jasmine & Joakim.double J (:hahah, that was *ucking lame lah.and guess what i said?nothing.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
CLICK was great.
CLICK was sad.
CLICK was horny.
haha, that show is just so awesome!
after school, we went to j8 and bought our CLICK tickets which started at 4.30.
then we went to eat lunch at Food Junction, den went to sit under the block till 4.15.
then went back to j8 and went in the cinema.
hm, trying to enjoy the rest of my life with my friends from today (:
i will face no more problems as long as im with them, and they're with me.
okay, just now we had to take this "assignment" thingy.
alah, the New South Wales!..
that stupid thing.
i answered almost everything, with answers like 123, 321, 456, all these shits.
i just had no time to think about studies just now.
im just looking forward to a whole new life.
and i cant wait.
hm, im glad me & Dian are okay now.
i hope that when we really understand each other, everything else will go smoothly.
no other person will break our friendship.
okay den, i'll have to go now.
tmrw's math test, and im not gonna fail that!
its graph man, and its easy. =0
stay sexy people, bye bye.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
hey!hm, guess im feeling so much better now.after talking it out with nurul, julie & aini.they're good friends, who'll alw be there for me, even if im wrong or right.im so blessed to have friends like them, yeah?okay, was supposed to get an MC from the doctor yesterday night.but i want to go school!i have to pass up my art work, today was the deadline lah.then end up during assembly, my sore throat didnt work out just as well.i had no voice in the hall just now! -.-haha, yeah and i answered all of Nurul's questions by body language.woohoo, sexaye! :Bwth? haha. oh, and i needed water to get my voice back, but Ms Anbarasi just wont let me go to the toilet.hmphff!haiz, guess friday's meeting with him will be cancelled :(nevermind, shall wait baby.hm, just finished writing two testimonials to my friend, telling her that our friendship will never be ruined just because of one guy!nothing can separate us, yeah, thats what i want her to know.i hope she understands.hm, just now after school went to eat at Yoshinoya with Nurul.den after that, rushed to Khatib and met Julie & Aini.we sat somewhere that brings alot of memories come flowing through like an endless river.while telling her exactly what happened, my eyes filled with tears, but they convinced me not to cry.and yeah, i didnt, just that i felt that i wanna cry, but i cant cry in front of them, i cant possibly make my loved ones suffer like what im going through.they're funny, and lovely, yeah (:i feel alot of things, but i cant write everything here, but just wanna heed Julie's advice for me.to move on in life and try to make friends with him.but too bad, although i tried to be normal friends with him, he didnt wanna cooperate.well, its okay, i've got to pick myself up now. :(now that i've lost my precious friend ever since she met you.god, what happened with my life?she believes you more den me.cant believe that i'd lose a friend in exchange with a guy i used to love....wth, now im at home, trying to avoid being sick, and hoping that rizal wouldnt be sick too.at least i know i still have friends who care about me.even if you dont.okay, this is a long post.i'll make sure it has a meaning.andandandand i'll make sure i'll stop crying about stupid things.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
my heart is confused, but yet im still thinking of you.always, always in my mind.i'd walk a million miles, not caring how far it is.always, always in my heart.i walk, killing time.hoping to find the other half of my heart.please understand, i want you to be like that.understand, that you're always in my heart.boy, you've become my life.wherever, you know what's in my heart.waiting, waiting for me to be there.walking, walking to meet me once again.wont you wait for me?until the end, just keep waiting.wont you watch me grow?and sweeten the rest of my life?
im having a hard time, and now im sick for the second time in a month.what a record! well, maybe i thought too much of what happened.and maybe im having some undiscovered illness.i dont know, but what i know is, that im feeling wrong now and i wish to correct myself and place myself in the right path in life again, but the thing is, i cant change whatever's gone wrong.now i smile less and i think so much more.i felt a strong sense that you are moving on life great.yeah, heck, go on, but i will never forget you and the time we had together.and its okay if you wont ever trust me again, im sorry if that ever happens, but yeah i deserve this.now i realise that starting a new life isnt that much of a great idea, cos it would get worse by den.but hey, he's been there for me, even before i knew you, he supported you, but he could still take care of me.thats why i accepted him. not cos of what you think.okay you may not be interested in reading my blog anymore, but this is not only for you.but for others too, that is to make sure that if you have someone who cares about you alot, dont misuse them, or they'll * you.so please, dont hate me.i am nothing to you now.i wasnt even something to you.right?
Friday, August 11, 2006
i dont think its working out, no one hears my cry.i may be happy on the outside, but inside, im hurt.by my past, by my life, by everything.everything thats perfect is inperfect in my eyes.i need my space, mum.i need privacy, dad.i need a proper life, everyone.tell me what do you do when it all falls apart?i have a great person who's always there for me, but i dont appreciate him.i dont know where to go.i dont know who to choose.i dont know who i am after fourteen years... i dont know what else to do after this.god, i need him now.he's my medicine.but he's not here, beside me.only he can cure me.hm, i dont think its working out, really.just because someone else is there for me,.. more den you were all this time.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
you're so different, so so different.oh but what the hell.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
h e l l o .today is national day.today im sick.today im supposed to go watch cute fireworks with my cute boyfriend but i cant.today supposed to be a joyous day, but its not.okay, you see, i think today is a kind-of bad luck day for me, cos everything goes whirling around like nobody's business, and yup, my bill's climbing to Mount Everest! =xi cant sms anymore nowadays, i wanna control my bill.so everyone, pleeease call me if there's anything important.aha. ((:and yeah, although im sick, im still very very happy that my dad came back home yesterday, when i was asleep. i dont know what happened, but i sense something wonderful happened.the atmosphere at home now is so peaceful !gosh, what else would i need?hah, yesterday was g r e a t.except for one thing though, which i wont share it here.haha, sorry people! okay, i hope today's gonna be a great day for me except for some coughs & fever that will happen later, but yeah, hope everything will turn out great for me today.in return for yesterday.
Friday, August 04, 2006
hello, hello, people!okay, finally had my day at school (:and it was great, i can say.okay, so far, i only got back my math paper.i scored 19.5/30 only.but well, im satisfied with whatever, whenever.haha! okay, just now after school went to meet fahmi.for a short two hours, then went back to bishan & met nurul, natazsha, gladys, melissa & annabelle ;DDhad a great talk with them, & everyone started to go home at 6.so i walked nurul home, until my mum called, and said that my brother is home already.see, i forgot to bring my home keys.haha! actually not forgot, but well i didnt bring any bag so i was lazy to bring the keys.hahahaha. such a lazybum-bam!den on the way home, talked to fufumi on de fone till i reached home.fun, fun baby (:okay, tmrw going to esplanade with dian, wanie, hikmah, afiq, rusydi & ayie.gonna be fun.and now i gotta go.DASH ! -
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
why, why must all this happen to me?do i deserve this?one bad thing happens, then another.wth. my ife is ruined, my loved ones are frustrated im acting this way.but they dont know what's happening in my home.i dont how to say it, but it breaks my heart, seeing everything go tipsy-turvy.it scares me so much more.but well, it has never happened before, but lets just face it, just one time.hope everything goes fine, and i wish my mum didnt mean what she said to my dad.sometimes, wishes are granted, but sometimes they're not.so lets just hang on to the only hope that's left.and i dont know when i can go to school, yet.i hope i could go back tomorrow already.i miss my friends.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
01.08.06eight more days to national day.woo! wth, wth.okay, just came back from hanging around with my girlfriends.lol. funny sia.then came home, cos my mum called & asked me to wait for her at Ikea at 7.cos she wanted to buy carpet for my room.but i need to choose or else she'd choose for me something i dont like.hahah. okay, just now history paper was stupid ok!i read the first question wrongly, which was a source-based question.i spent on that question about 15minutes, den crushed it into a paper ball when i realised it was done wrongly. & so the rest of the paper, i did in a rush.and i have a feeling i'll fail history this time.gosh, =/okay, have to prepare to go out in a while.bye bye.
AN, SAYANG KU ((: