its the time of the year again!
happy 17th birthday papa fufumi! :D

and i'd like to say sorry to him for bothering him by asking dat question, cos i really hope dat the answer would be yes. im sorry for being so 'D' (as said by Ca, if its true) cos i dun know how else to show my love for you. and now i cant contact you, cos of something dat i promised to Ca. but you still havent called me yet. i dun wanna lose my money and i dun wanna lose you too. :( will you be the guy who used to be v caring to me in the beginning? i'd really like dat. sorry and thank you, very much.

today's wednesday, and it was kind of boring and stupid and long. i dun know why, i just didnt have the mood today. in art class, had to draw an umbrella, and its superfun i tell you! :D and had english test just now, 'twas kinda tough though. hmms. den after skul, me and Ca went to causeway point, and saw Syahida on the way. and she didnt stop talking la. why suddenly so becok? haha, joking la. and den we decided to eat at Banquet. Ca ate sweet&spicy chicken wit chicken rice eh?! haha. and i ate creamy chicken pasta. and we had a talk, bout everything dat happened, dats happening, and the mistakes we couldnt ever forget about. wow. and we did stupid stuffs in the train as usual, cos whoever goes out with me, talks cock with me! kan Ca? hahaha. anyw, it was nice hanging out with her after a long time. welcome back to my life, dearest friend :D

and now, im still waiting for the call.
still waiting,
still waiting.

Dear God, i wish you can hear my prayer
listen to me cry like i've never done
they just wont listen to me speak
we always fight like one-on-one.
i just want a family to be here
to get along with them day and night
a mother and father still together
and a big brother that doesnt fight.
i want grandparents to spoil me
sneak some chocolates before lunch
i miss getting those McDonald meals
and i miss when life wasnt too much.
i miss being the little girl they love
i wish i could tell you how it felt
but now im left in hell again
and there's too much pain to be dealt.
Dear God, i just miss my family so much.
i want them back how they used to be,
when we spend Sundays together.
and God, i miss my family.

please fulfill it for me?

Hello,

im feeling so restless and shitty and useless and skliaerce4ilskxct,rstzewjkmi (every bad feeling you can think of)

cos the thing is, i really dun know wat is gonna happen to my family next?! i dun know wat my dad's definition of a perfect family, i dun know wats gonna happen when my family is gonna be broken up further. i really dun know! if only my dad didnt found out about my mistake, we would be a happy family once again. pfft.

dad's been paranoid about just one mistake i did, and he's showing tantrum to everyone. my mum's sick now, and shit, how i pity her so much everytime she asked me whether she's a good mother or not. cos hell yeah, she is, i mean they both are great parents, but they shouldnt blame each other in the family for these kind of problems. can't we just forgive? maybe we cant forget, but nevermind, at least we live life happily together. i really dun know wat to say, or maybe i just dun have anything else to say, cos this stupid thing keeps on repeating itself over and over again. its just like a stupid film dat keeps on rolling inside my head. i just cant stop thinking about dis. :(

dad's still angry now, and mum's still sad. and im just going with the flow. school has been so much more stressful for me just now, when i received a fone call from mummy. wat xactly happened here? right here.

and he hasnt been replying to all my messages, only picked up my calls. dat should b the least i xpected from him, i mean nevermind okay. but im not sure i understand. i really wanna meet him this Friday, wanna talk to him and have a clear mind. cos yeah, he's the one who always cheers me up in any way.

i think i've had enough talking now, cos there's just too much to think. life's been dreadful these days, but foooooh, wat can i do? and who am i to do anyhing bout it anyway? i'll only get shouted and cursed at. i know it, i just know it. that things are not the way it used to be. i just dun want my life to be at stake.

thank you all, for hearing me voice out my inner secrets.
i really love my family.
i really love him.
i really love my friends.
i dun wanna lose any of 'em.

and it's the boring part of life now, having to stay at home and do nothing!

so just now Abby sold a $18 prepaid card to me :D how nice. and i paid her $10 only. tmrw gonna pay her the remainder. thank you Abby!

just now, had health check-up. but i wasnt one of the lucky students to be checked. pfft. and so, the rest who weren't asked to go in the room slacked at one of the tables, while waiting for Nurul to come out. 'twas too long to wait, so everyone went to POA class, and i had to go to A Math class alone cos Nurul haven't come out yet. den while walking to class, Kiat Hwee called out to me and asked me to wait. den he came down from the third floor and was so scared to get in the class. haha, wats so afraid bout? just say that we had health check-up and everything'd be fine. den as usual, Mr Tan believed. Best! =D

After english class, we talked to Ms Wong about our March 3 days 2 nights chalet. we needed her to book for us, since she's above 18 :D and she said okay, but we'll have to behave well in class. that's chicken ahh~ haha! and then me, Noraishah & Annabelle went to have our lunch at KFC. and something happened, swoosh! haha. den had to switch to another table. haha. den i ate my yummy zinger, den went back home.

and here i am, rotting like an xpired food stuff, and im gonna burst soon out of boredom, yawns =0

IM MISSING ASHRAF LIKE HELL, CAN ANYONE PLEASE BRING HIM TO ME?
GET WELL SOON, DEAREST.
I LOVE YOU! :D

its manic monday today!
but yet, im waking up xtra early to shampoo my hair and meeting Nurul at R.K. today to have our morn breakfast and A Math homework.
let me tell'ya, its A Math has been killing me. pfffft.

so on saturday, went to Orchard to see the flea market thingy, and one stall is like so small! its like, two stalls share one umbrella. and where's mummy gonna place her black and white supercute cat-figures? hahhaha. and then after registering over there again, i had a walk around the current flea market which sells like $2 CDs. how cheap can?! but all of 'em were like way back in time. i dun even know those artistes and bands! haha. so couldnt buy. and walked in further, there was this supernice green shirt which was long, and i wanted to buy, den found out that there was a stain at one part of the shirt. but it was only like $8? hahas. so at the end of the day, i bought a brown checkered skirt. so it's good to buy cheap stuff, but still look good and xpensive. :D

den after that, went to Lavender to meet my cousin. den we went to Muhammadiyah Welfare Home to help out our auntie who's selling her yummy food stuffs there. and at the end of the day, we got $10 each even tho we didnt really helped alot. but its great anyw. :D but there was this part, when we were on the way to the toilet, this group of boys sang, 'THEY'RE BRINGING SEXY BACK, YEAHHH' and we were like speeding our pace of walking. well, to me, it sounded like deadly. hahas. and after we finished packing and everything, we went back to pasir ris at 10.30+ and reached my auntie's house, chatted with my favourite Kak Nonoi and everyone went to sleep.

and de next morn, woke up and had some stupid pillow fights wit them, and went to bath. had breakfast at whitesands. that was the favourite part. Kak Nonoi treated us a Macs breakfast each. how nice can! no regrets calling her my favourite :D den went back to pasir ris house and watched teevee. den at 4+, my brother came over and everyone went back to our own homes. and den reached home, completed my malay homewerk and E Math homewerk, but couldnt even do my A Math homework, cos i dun know how to. my mind was blank, everything! hahas. mayb i had too much fun. and mayb dats just wat i needed after nearly a month filling my brains with new information? haha.

okay, now wanna dry my hair! and wear my uniform. please pray for me, dat i can have a great day at skul. okeh? tooooooooodles everyone. :D

swoosh~

yesterday didnt get to meet him. he's sick. and i realised that i shouldnt b angry wit him, 1 more day to 4th month :) da kene stop mara2. hehes.

anyw, i wish he gets well soon. i miss him can! i need to talk to him on the fone, but his voice was so weak, so i guess he needed his own rest. didnt contacted him that much.

yesterday was okay. during art lesson, was drawing and shading the two balls that were displayed and suddenly found Nurul asleep on the table beside me. so i slept too. was feeling so weak and sleepy yesterday, mayb its because i didnt get enough sleep eh? so slept and finally woke up and found out that everyone else was kinda finishing their work already. so me & Nurul quickly did ours. den handed up. senang kate, yesterday's art lesson wasn't that fun. and Saras & Vicky went before us seh! go Npcc. hahas.

later on at 10.30am, having madrasah. yessssssa~ at least i remembered bout the homework, and i completed it. =D so yeah, after that going straight home and following mummy go Orchard. mummy got the approval for the flea thingy on 10th Feb. make sure everyone must come and at least buy somethin okay! Ha-ha. gonna help out there and mayb Nurul's gonna help out too, cos she seemed so interested, but there's no salary eh, my mummy warned me before. haha. okay so, after looking at how big the stall is, mayb im meeting my cousins and all to go watch soccer match la. but im not sure, cos i wanna go shopping too y'know. so tmrw, i'll see who's going to watch the semi-finals, if its fun people, den mayb i'll consider going. i dun know la. sheesh.

get well soon, sayang.
im waitin for you.
love you alot.
and happy 1-day in advanced 4-months anniversary.
i hope we stay like this forever.
sweet.

Hello, everyone.
'STRIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKE!'
im suddenly hit by that 'i-wanna-blog' feeling :D

that's so lame can! ahh~

so today was okay eh. A Math is alright for me so far, xcept for the stupid longdivison thingy. and E Math is fun. i've been a good girl in school lately. so just now, on malay lesson, Cikgu let us watch Hanyut. but the thing is, the best part just wanted to start, and she stopped it. =/ how frustrating. LALALALAOHHH~ i cant stop laughing bout yesterday, in english lesson. i bit Nurul. i pity her alot eh. so sowie Nurul, i just couldnt stand the temptation la. hahahahaha.

tuesday was fun. Ashraf didnt went to school cos he was sick. and when i was in malay class, he msg-ed me, asked me out. so i agreed! :) den after school, he fetched me and den we went back to interchg. he should've just asked me to wait there right? hahaha, funny he. den we decided to go Causeway Point after much hesitation from me, cos i was feeling so lazy lah. haha. den in the end, went there with him. had a funny time with him in the train (as usual), and then we reached! and we walked around for awhile and then ended up at Macs, cos he was hungry. had a nice talk with him after we ate, and we went to take the train back. he dropped at Yishun and i dropped at Bishan. and that kiss he gave me before he left, i liked it. hahh.

and tmrw! JENG JENG JENGGG! im meeting him again. ahhh~ now i miss him. he havent reply my message. and yesterday he made me promise to give him a kiss instead of him giving me one, before we hang up the fone. and i promised, haha. how cute :)

pheww, time really flies, that phrase dun meaning nth!

wat happened the past week was kinda okay for me xcept on friday. a sudden mood swing occured when waiting for art class to start. everythin was going on great cos geog and ss teacher didnt come, and we like practically sat in the same room for 3 long hours. spent chit-chattin away. den art class started at 2 and supposed to end at 4. den after dat, arranged to meet Ashraf, but he cancelled again. i was so pissed all of a sudden. i dun know why, lately he has alw been cancelling our meetings. den i raged. dat was a normal thing to do. but this doesnt make sense, cos i raged at him, yes AT HIM.

den he was like '..?' and i told him how i felt for the past week, how unsure i felt. den we talked things out, and kinda sorted out our feelings. and the best thing during art lesson, was dat when he swore dat he's still loving me. den at dat point, i stopped crying and gave everyone a smile. and i dun think its fair for me to feel sad and all infront of my frens. they talk to me and i answered them in pieces. who did i think i was? i felt so bad. im sorry, eh frens who were there. :(

and den after art class, me, nurul, ca & saras went to j8. bought my tako balls and walked to KFC. the rest ate there and den natz came in home clothes. so i left, went to Bedok. met my cousin under his block and he smoked. while i tell him wat happened. cos de thing is, im supposed to meet him at nite. cos i told him i was meeting Ashraf. hahh. den after a few hours, went up and every other cousin came with their school uniforms on too. but i think mine's the coolest. de new uniform is so comfortable la can.

so yesterday talked to him for awhile, cos my cousin came to sleepover here. suddenly, i joked bout american idol. the fat but dammit cute girl who sings with her RRRRRRRR and her WOLFFFFFFF. haha. and they were like, STOP IT. STOP IT. lalala~ so jammed wit him and my abg. hahaha. quite nice la, we jammed the song 'apo nak dikato'. and den we ended up talking bout the Skafest '07 dat was coming up. cant wait seh! hahas. never went to a ska gig before. and now my abg's got 'em tix ready. WHEEEEEEEE.WHOOOOOOOO. huhu. :D

mayb tmrw meeting Dian & all at tamp! yesssssssssa. i miss 'em la can. especially ayie. his jokes can make me roll on the floor i tell you! hahahha. den mayb meeting Ashraf there after he end his school. see how it goes then. okay, i wanna go take a nap now, my eyes are killing me! gudnite beings!

and take care all.

wow, i missed blogging man.
i cant really switch on the computer these days, daddy wont allow me to use it.
cos uhhhh .. 'i abused it.' yeah, pffft.
sigh some more dian!

okay, school went on as usual, but friday was xtra special can? it felt v long, the school hours were like, from one period, it felt like 2 periods. know why? cos i was dreading for school to finish. to meet Ashraf :) and finally, school ended, like wheeeeeee whooooooo! he was waiting at the normal block opposite school and it was raining cats and dogs, and by the time i reached that block, i was so wet! and big thanks to Nurul for sending me there with her mcdonald umbrella :D (its quite big, yknow) hahah.

and tmrw school's ending superfast (1.15) i dun know why. and after school, meeting Julie, Dian, Akim Babe & Shafiq Dickhead at Khatib. den mayb going Northpoint, i think. i dunnoe, im fine with everythin.

and so, on saturday nite, supposed to talk with Ashraf on the fone, but i fell asleep -_- erghhh! den the next day, i woke up v late! and when i called his hp, his brother picked up and told me that he forgot to bring his fone. pfft. then the whole day, been dreading on when he's reaching home, cos i miss him alot can! haha. den after having my pizza hut dinner, called him and yay! he's home. haha. den we talked for awhile. and den he asked me whether i can meet him again this coming friday, and i was like hell yeah. but after my school ends, which is at 4pm. late eh? but he still agrees to meet me. superyay! :D

okay, guess im gonna go sleep now, its getting late.
but it doesnt really matter, cos tmrw's Manic Monday.
starting school at 9.
but im alw late on Mondays.
i dun want any detention tmrw, i have plans already.

NITEEEES EVERYONE! :D

meeting Ashraf tmrw.
gonna hug him,
till he cant breathe. :D

Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo ! :D

i feel random.
and im lovin' drums! nyehhh.
that's all for today! BYEEEE. <3

HA HA HA HA HAPPPPPPPPPPPY NEW YEAR ! :D
wow, that sounded more to Xmas.

and and! i cant believe it, i spent two years celebratin New Year's Eve somewhere outside Spore. Grr! i miss spending it here =/ and actually supposed to spend it wit Ashraf this year, he asked me to torn wit him :) i'd love to at first, but before all the bad things happened. den he never asked again. so in the end, went back to Johor la. pfft.

so on new year's eve, went to Gas Haus, and it was damn cool can! the place was like kinda packed on the first floor, so we went up to the second floor and found all the bands there. most of the bands were like Emo ones and some were not. and lemme tell you somethin, im in love wit one band called, The Sexies. they sound supernice can! and the girl singer sang 'Walk Away', wow, she sounded so smooth. jealous! haha. den after that, my brother's band was on the house. at first, they didnt really got the whole place rockin', till they played the song 'Streets Of Uptown'. when that song was playin. the punk and emo guys all went right in front of the stage and moshed. wow, cute! haha. and everyone went OHH-OHH-OHH in the chorus. gerek~ and dis coming February, there's gonna b a Ska Fest :) gonna b a pro band from Bali. i have to buy the tix! but! i dunno how to skank. anyone wanna teach me? :D

and im feelin happy again. what a kickstart to the new year! :D he came back to me. Nurul && Natz were right, he did come back to me! i didnt know he'd do dat, cos he was so afraid of mummy gettin to know again. but now he can trust me, cos i know how to hide it from her already. i promise to try to stop any other stupid things from happenin again.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSA :D

he wants to fetch me from school this friday, yay. its been so long since the last time he fetched me from school. but on wednesday have to print my picture for him, he wants it on friday. :)

so i was woken up at 0415 hours just now, and i dun know why, mayb the mp3 music in my ears were too loud? den i called Ashraf, and he wasnt asleep yet. phew, so i talked to him for only 30 minutes. we talked like we used to, i guess. i think everythin's fine now. so he asked me wats my New Year Resolution. and den i told him, but its private, i cant write it here, sorry eh. den he told me dat his resolution is the same as mine. yay, hi5! :D

shucks

i miss my handphone, omg la. i miss msg-ing people. and i miss all those in my contacts :( I MISSSSSSSSS CONTACTIN THEM!
and i guess that's all i can say now, njoy the new year 2007 everyone! :D