Hello,

im feeling so restless and shitty and useless and skliaerce4ilskxct,rstzewjkmi (every bad feeling you can think of)

cos the thing is, i really dun know wat is gonna happen to my family next?! i dun know wat my dad's definition of a perfect family, i dun know wats gonna happen when my family is gonna be broken up further. i really dun know! if only my dad didnt found out about my mistake, we would be a happy family once again. pfft.

dad's been paranoid about just one mistake i did, and he's showing tantrum to everyone. my mum's sick now, and shit, how i pity her so much everytime she asked me whether she's a good mother or not. cos hell yeah, she is, i mean they both are great parents, but they shouldnt blame each other in the family for these kind of problems. can't we just forgive? maybe we cant forget, but nevermind, at least we live life happily together. i really dun know wat to say, or maybe i just dun have anything else to say, cos this stupid thing keeps on repeating itself over and over again. its just like a stupid film dat keeps on rolling inside my head. i just cant stop thinking about dis. :(

dad's still angry now, and mum's still sad. and im just going with the flow. school has been so much more stressful for me just now, when i received a fone call from mummy. wat xactly happened here? right here.

and he hasnt been replying to all my messages, only picked up my calls. dat should b the least i xpected from him, i mean nevermind okay. but im not sure i understand. i really wanna meet him this Friday, wanna talk to him and have a clear mind. cos yeah, he's the one who always cheers me up in any way.

i think i've had enough talking now, cos there's just too much to think. life's been dreadful these days, but foooooh, wat can i do? and who am i to do anyhing bout it anyway? i'll only get shouted and cursed at. i know it, i just know it. that things are not the way it used to be. i just dun want my life to be at stake.

thank you all, for hearing me voice out my inner secrets.
i really love my family.
i really love him.
i really love my friends.
i dun wanna lose any of 'em.