its 5:02pm and im back.

my ppaid fone is lost!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARHHHH..i think mummy took it. im gonna hav a hell of a time later. SURE get scolded. im such a clumsy fcuking shit.

& just now went to meet Ashraf. we were both like so stiff, we werent talking to each other. waiting for the bus, he sighed so heavily. in the bus, he listened to his mp3 but didnt offer me one earpiece like he alw do. i STIFFLED. going home time, he only muttered 'the bus is here' and i got in the bus and he left. he didnt giv me gudbye kiss as alw. this is the worst day i ever had with him. sat dwn under the usual block, there were 4 CIDs walking ard, so we sat opposite each other. i faced the bicycles and he faced the checkered table. silence all the way. its like we were strangers. went home, messaged him and he didnt even bother to reply. so i called him up, and asked him why he didnt reply, den he simply answered, 'reply wat?' so i said nevermind. BUT MY HEART'S BURNINGGG MADNESS!

how sick can this be?

& he still can ask me why i asked about the break thingy. i was too lazy to answer. he keep on saying i was being stubborn. who the hell is stubborn nw? these 3 days ahead is gonna be hell for me, i swear it will be. i wont get to contact him (nw dat my ppaid fone is revealed), and he's angry with me. mummy's angry with me too. how the hell am i gonna cope with all this? to think dat he could do anything in the 3 days without even hearing my voice, its terrible. from the past bad xperiences he told me, i knw its gonna be so difficult for me. why cant my life be like other teens out there? having fun, bad luck only once in a blue moon? i dun get it. why would everyone hate him? why would mummy dislike him so much, why must God take him away from me? WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY? :(

but nevertheless, i will be strong and not cry infront of anyone.
not even him. im not weak. i will not be weak anymore.
because i know im not supid to be treated this way.