Monday, November 27, 2006
Dian, where the toot are you?
isnt your camp over yet?
been missing you alot.
cum back online soon okeh?
wheeeeeeeeeeeuu~
to Ridzwan papayaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !
happy one-day-in-advanced birthday.
im sending birthday wishes, from far across the miles
tied with lace and ribbons, my special birthday smile
also hugs and kisses, wrapped in special prayers
happiness and laughter, joy beyond compare
wishing you warm sunshine, each day when you awake
peace within and harmony, with every step you take <3
may God bless you for the rest of your life.
been two days im away from home and yet so much had changed. i feel so wrong, i feel so bad. :( over at Bedok, i was taken aback by the outside world. i forgot about who i am, or maybe who i wanted to be. it's nobody's fault that i cried like a lost child yesterday night. it wasn't THEIR fault that all this happened in the first place. it was mine, and only my fault. i never knew how stupid stuffs can deceive me & change my actual way of thinking. i was just stressed. its been so long i didnt get to meet him, i've been so weak without him standing by me. maybe i was just thinking too much, my brain wanted to explode if it could. im just stressed about thinking that he'd leave me. we're from different worlds, he could leave me in a blink of an eye. i just cant afford to lose him at this point of time, at least. yeah, maybe sorry doesnt solve anything. sorry is just a word, i know. but i mean it when i said it to him. yet he didnt care. yeah fuck, he didnt care when i said that to him a million times yesterday. he didnt replied my messages. so i sat at one side of the house and cried like i've just lost someone i really love.
i know i've not been acting like a good person, these two days back. i've been acting like someone else, someone different from me. way different. im sorry that i did that stupid thing, im so fcuking sorry. just dont leave me. after calling him simultaneously, he called me back. oh yeah he called me back! he said that the thought of leaving me has never crossed his mind before, and its just that he's a little bit angry and disappointed in me.
i've been smiling alot since last night.
and guess wat, he called me up in the morning! when i didnt even contacted him. he still loves me. i think. or maybe i should ask him again? i dont think i should. i might sound like i expect too much. den wat am i supposed to do now? he's off to work again. and on friday gonna be away from home again, will be at johor. atok + auntie lin + natalya's birthday bash. will be missing him alot. and thursday, having my class bbq. when am i supposed to meet him? i only hope that he'd get a break from work and spend just one day with me. then i'll go to johor with a peaceful mind.
and baby,
im still loving you.
Dian, where the toot are you?